February 23

Today has been an okay day.  The kids did a great job with their school work, as usual.  Cebelle is eating up a storm and she has been since yesterday.  She is also having some joint pain and she is sleepy and grumpy.  All those symptoms = growing.  At least I hope so.  Cebelle has had some problems with growth.  She dropped down to the fifth percentile after her first year.  Then when she was two and having horrible asthma problems, she plummetted down to the third percentile.  We have had numerous tests and visits to many specialists but everything always checks out just fine.  She doesn't eat nearly enough most days because she is extremely picky.  So, she has some trouble growing.  She still sees an endocrinologist every six months because they want to make sure all is well.  After everything they have put her through (blood tests, examinations, etc.) they have come to the conclusion that she is a mostly healthy child who does not consume enough calories.  In kids, calories=growth.  Let's face the facts, she is never going to be six feet tall.  Truthfully, with ALL the short women that are in Jeff's family and in my family, she will be lucky to top out at five feet when she is fully grown.  So anytime I suspect she is growing, I am thrilled.  We have been through discussions of putting her on appetite stimulants, using human growth hormone, and on a roller coaster ride of health concerns.   But at the end of the day, she is healthy and growing and has no issues that would say to us that anything is seriously wrong with her.  Her asthma symptoms are improving,  we have been able to lessen her medication and hope to wean her off of it soon.  I'm sure any parent out there knows the drama that I go through.  We all just want our kids to be happy and healthy and anytime there is something wrong with them it's very stressful.  And Jeff and I are generally very cautious about medicating our kids.  I don't hesitate to do it at all if I think they need it.  But giving her appetite stimulants to help her gain a few pounds when she is already a very healthy child? I question that and the reasoning behind it.  If she eats as much as she wants and is full, why would we start messing with her body's natural signals?  I mean, I have struggled with weight my entire life.  As I was growing up, I didn't know how to be healthy.  It wasn't something that people were really aware of at that time.  And now that I'm an adult and very overweight, I face tons of social stigma.  People look at me and automatically assume things like: I must be lazy.  I must eat junk food all the time.  I must not exercise.  I must not care about my appearance.  None of which are true.  I would like to be lazy and eat junk food all the time.  That would be nice.   The truth of the matter is:  my body doesn't work right.  Even if I drop my calorie count to 1200 calories a day and exercise an hour a day, it is still a struggle to lose weight.  My doctor and I have explored so many options, including gastric bypass.  I think it's a last resource option.  So you can see why I'm hesitant to mess with Cebelle's body telling her that she should stop eating.  I would never wish the issues that I have on anyone, especially my children.
On a brighter note, I was able to borrow two books that I had requested from the library and download them to my NOOKcolor today.  I got an email when they were available, which is just unbelievably awesome.  Anyone who knows me well knows that there isn't very much I love in life more than books and reading and the pursuit of knowledge.  So I'm sure those people can imagine my girly screech at 6am when those emails came through.  Unfortunately, I had other responsibilities to attend to before I could sit down and get lost in some books.  But I honestly relish every second of it.
Cebelle and I started dinner as Jeff should be home soon.  We decided on lemon-rosemary chicken breasts, garlic mashed potatoes, peas, and salad.  The chicken cooking right now smells absolutely amazing.  We've been eating a little bit later of an evening because Jeff doesn't get home until 6:30 or after.  One of the benefits of homeschooling is that I can adjust my kids schedule so they get to spend lots of time with their daddy!  If we were a traditional two working parent family with kids in public school, I don't think we would ever get to spend time together.  I thank God everyday for being able to be here with my kids and for them being able to spend so much time with their daddy.  I don't know how all my friends do what they do.  I have so much respect for the parents that work all day and then come home and squeeze in family time and kids activities and time with their spouses.  Honestly, I could do it if I had to.  But I would probably be an emotional wreck constantly.
There are a ton of other things on my mind, especially dealing with the state of our world and the state of affairs in our country and even our hometown.  But that would be a discussion that would take all night...and I have dinner almost ready and a husband due home any moment.  So we will save those adventures for another day!